Who is Winning Here?

Hello everyone.

John here.

Being married is a new experience for me. I have only been married once, and although my calendar says it will be three years coming up on Wednesday, I still haven't figured this whole thing out yet.

One of the things I can't figure out is what happened to all my stuff.

Case in point. I talked to my brother a couple of weeks about about how to smoke things with apple wood. So when I got home, I found a branch that had broken off of our apple tree and I used my chainsaw to cut it up into 3 or 4 inch sections. Then I stacked these in front of the garage until I was ready to smoke something.

A few days later I am perusing my living room, and I come upon a strange sight.


It appears that my wife has decided that my wood chunks were "just the thing" for adding to her fall decor. Now rather than adding their delightful smoky flavor to steaks on my grill, they are adorning our piano nestled around a candle, gathered together by a metal... um... well I don't know. I'm sure there's a name for it. I'll call it a basket I guess.

Anyway, let's continue on around the living room just to prove the point. If you move a mere 3 feet to the left of the metal basket of wood with pine cones and candles, you find this:

Now when I bought this property 8 years ago and found this old wooden thing in the barn, I foolishly assumed it was a ladder. I even used it as a ladder... for several years no less. Anytime there was a spot just over my head where I needed a little boost, I would pull it out and use it.

Imagine my embarrassment now that I am married and it is explained to me that this old wooden structure is actually a magazine rack. Who knew that the early farming inhabitants of this place would need such sturdy structures for their magazines. Perhaps they hung whole Sears and Roebuck Catalogues on them. You know, for when they couldn't find things in the General Store.

I have decided to fight back.

One of my quirks is collecting things. I get it from my mom who has every copy of Reader's Digest dating back to 1962. So the other day I was walking with Tim and Chad at work and I came across a couple of acorns. Not just any acorns, but the big, fuzzy-headed kind. I think it's Chinkapin Oak (Quercus Muelenbergii if I recall my biology class correctly). I think it would be great to have one of those at our place. So I scoop up a couple of acorns and drop them in my pocket thinking someday I will plant them and then, viola, a short 30 years later we have a cool tree or two.

But then, what to do with the acorns until I'm ready to plant? I can't leave them sitting around the house or Kim will scoop them up and throw them in the trash. So I cleverly dropped them in the basket thingy. "Very well hidden." I think to myself. Genius. Pure genius.

But then yesterday Kim spots the acorns. I brace myself. But then she says "Awww... they're perfect! Where did you find them?"

For a few brief moments I congratulate myself on a job well done. I pulled something off rather cleverly.

But then I think about it more and I wonder...

Am I just being brainwashed into decorating the house?

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2 Response to "Who is Winning Here?"

  1. Tim James Says:

    2:14 PM

    I think it's best not to ask the deeper questions, John... somethings you might not want to know.

  2. Nancy Says:

    9:27 PM

    John, this all makes perfect sense. Kim has just placed your valuables in plain sight for when you need them for more important purposes. I would advise clearing any use with Kim however :).

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