One of phrases heard frequently around our house is "if you make good choices you get to do fun things".
We're teaching that idea early in this house while the consequences are small. I'm sure to the boys, missing out on an activity may seem like the worse thing...it's better than jail time or being fired from a job.
Here's how...
It's simple really, at the end of the day we talk through the three "good choices" the boys can make during the day. They get a star for a choice well made. When they fill up the chart, they get the "fun thing" at the end. For this one (this picture was taken months ago when both boys were still in preschool) it was have lunch with daddy (it's an amazing resemblence huh? I drew it myself!)
Seth's good choices on this chart are 1) Have a "good day" at school or at home - which means no screaming trantrums 2) Do what mommy and daddy ask - the first time 3) Keeping his pants dry all the way to bedtime. Colin's are 1) Using his inside voice (this is always the hardest stars for him to get) 2) Do what mommy and daddy ask 3) Eating a meal in less than 30 minutes.
It's not a perfect system. The chart doesn't always fill up and sometimes we miss out on the fun things. Here's a tip though. Make sure the "fun thing" isn't something that would be too devastating to miss or that other people are relying on.
Here are a few "fun things" we've put on the chart so far:
- Ride Pete (our horse...they were supervised closely and wore helmets)
- Have brown milk at dinner (that's chocolate milk for you fluent English speakers)
- Get balloons (this one was Colin's idea and it was actually one of my favorites. We filled up the playroom with balloons. It was so fun!)
- Go to McDonalds (This one has made the list several times. They play and I get a diet coke. Everyone wins!)
- Go on a bike ride with daddy
- Go to a puppet show (Our church does several a year.)
- Have yogurt, cereal, and honey (Aunt Kelly ate this once at our house and the boys wanted to put it on their chart. Alrighty!)
- Visit the fish at Bass Pro Shop (It's free and the boys love riding the see-through elevator)
- Ride on a Carousel ($2 at the mall)
- Stay up 30 minutes past bedtime (Seth's idea)
- Ride in the car-cart at the grocery store (I hate that thing but the boys love it...it's definitely a special treat.)
The weeks with the most success are the ones where the boys chose the "fun thing". They come up with some fun ideas, that are usually a lot easier for us to fulfill than the ones we come up with.
It's made my job of encouraging good behavior much easier. All I say now is "do you want to get your star today?" Sometimes they choose to proceed down the path of destruction but more times than not they decide to turn from their wicked ways. :)
We're teaching that idea early in this house while the consequences are small. I'm sure to the boys, missing out on an activity may seem like the worse thing...it's better than jail time or being fired from a job.
Here's how...
The Star Chart
It's simple really, at the end of the day we talk through the three "good choices" the boys can make during the day. They get a star for a choice well made. When they fill up the chart, they get the "fun thing" at the end. For this one (this picture was taken months ago when both boys were still in preschool) it was have lunch with daddy (it's an amazing resemblence huh? I drew it myself!)
Seth's good choices on this chart are 1) Have a "good day" at school or at home - which means no screaming trantrums 2) Do what mommy and daddy ask - the first time 3) Keeping his pants dry all the way to bedtime. Colin's are 1) Using his inside voice (this is always the hardest stars for him to get) 2) Do what mommy and daddy ask 3) Eating a meal in less than 30 minutes.
It's not a perfect system. The chart doesn't always fill up and sometimes we miss out on the fun things. Here's a tip though. Make sure the "fun thing" isn't something that would be too devastating to miss or that other people are relying on.
Here are a few "fun things" we've put on the chart so far:
- Ride Pete (our horse...they were supervised closely and wore helmets)
- Have brown milk at dinner (that's chocolate milk for you fluent English speakers)
- Get balloons (this one was Colin's idea and it was actually one of my favorites. We filled up the playroom with balloons. It was so fun!)
- Go on a bike ride with daddy
- Go to a puppet show (Our church does several a year.)
- Have yogurt, cereal, and honey (Aunt Kelly ate this once at our house and the boys wanted to put it on their chart. Alrighty!)
- Visit the fish at Bass Pro Shop (It's free and the boys love riding the see-through elevator)
- Ride on a Carousel ($2 at the mall)
- Stay up 30 minutes past bedtime (Seth's idea)
- Ride in the car-cart at the grocery store (I hate that thing but the boys love it...it's definitely a special treat.)
The weeks with the most success are the ones where the boys chose the "fun thing". They come up with some fun ideas, that are usually a lot easier for us to fulfill than the ones we come up with.
It's made my job of encouraging good behavior much easier. All I say now is "do you want to get your star today?" Sometimes they choose to proceed down the path of destruction but more times than not they decide to turn from their wicked ways. :)
6:42 PM
Way to go Everyone! And it is an amazing Dry-Erase Daddy rendition. However, I'm curious if this incredible resemblance were transported through time to "Kim of the Past", if she would want to get enough stars for that 'prize'? :)
11:08 AM
what a great idea! Love it-Spring